Oh Monday, Thou Art a Bitch...

I’ve decided I don’t like Mondays. There was a time when weekdays and weekends didn’t matter to me at all because most days just felt the same but lately, I’ve noticed a difference. I can’t tell you what triggered that difference but guess that’s not important. I now don’t like Mondays. Truly do not like them. Although I’m grateful for them because if I did not have Mondays that’d probably mean I was dead and that’s no good either.

Before I get all bummed out because it’s Monday, let me change the subject.

Last night, I made a dinner that was good. By good I mean “slap yo’ mama” great. Was afraid I’d lost my cooking mojo but it came back with all kinds of vengeance last night. Here’s the sad part: it was meatloaf. Most people think meatloaf and immediately thoughts of an unsavory, wadded up lump of meat come to mind but really, I swear mine was beautiful and TASTY. Like, if there was such a thing as “the meatloaf whisperer” I would’ve nailed the shit out of it yesterday. Even my kid liked it which is amazing in itself because for the first 9 years of her life she grew up eating her Dad’s cooking and he’s a chef so take THAT you douche~y leaver-type husband!

After having eaten this fabuloso dinner, I was sitting here on my bed as I almost always am because I have nowhere else to sit and ponder my thoughts and I decided this whole hernia thing just blows. It’s painful. I have no insurance right now so can’t get it fixed. It’s huge and it’s ugly. Remember that scene in Alien where Sigourney Weaver was giving birth to that creature? I look like I’m on the verge of THAT. I may never be naked in front of a man again and I decided this THING was worthy of a name. Herman the Hernia. I’ve asked my best friend to make sure a belly hole was cut out in the top of my coffin (when the time came, no rush) so we’d both fit, me and Herman. I’ve also asked her to include him in my eulogy. I’d offer up some kind of funny photo here but when I Googled possibilities I was met with grossness that needn’t be shared with you all. We’ll skip the photo-op.

Really just super tired this morning after doing stuff over the weekend. The situation I deal with is after having a day full of doing stuff, my next day – physically – could go either way. Either I hurt like hell or I don’t and either I’m exhausted or I’m not. It’s a crap shoot really. Had two pretty decent days over the weekend so today I guess I’m crapped. Or maybe I’m not. Maybe it’s just my new hatred of Monday. Hard to know.

But I”m smiling and I’m happy and I hope you guys are too.