Oh Monday, Thou Art a Bitch...

I’ve decided I don’t like Mondays. There was a time when weekdays and weekends didn’t matter to me at all because most days just felt the same but lately, I’ve noticed a difference. I can’t tell you what triggered that difference but guess that’s not important. I now don’t like Mondays. Truly do not like them. Although I’m grateful for them because if I did not have Mondays that’d probably mean I was dead and that’s no good either.

Before I get all bummed out because it’s Monday, let me change the subject.

Last night, I made a dinner that was good. By good I mean “slap yo’ mama” great. Was afraid I’d lost my cooking mojo but it came back with all kinds of vengeance last night. Here’s the sad part: it was meatloaf. Most people think meatloaf and immediately thoughts of an unsavory, wadded up lump of meat come to mind but really, I swear mine was beautiful and TASTY. Like, if there was such a thing as “the meatloaf whisperer” I would’ve nailed the shit out of it yesterday. Even my kid liked it which is amazing in itself because for the first 9 years of her life she grew up eating her Dad’s cooking and he’s a chef so take THAT you douche~y leaver-type husband!

After having eaten this fabuloso dinner, I was sitting here on my bed as I almost always am because I have nowhere else to sit and ponder my thoughts and I decided this whole hernia thing just blows. It’s painful. I have no insurance right now so can’t get it fixed. It’s huge and it’s ugly. Remember that scene in Alien where Sigourney Weaver was giving birth to that creature? I look like I’m on the verge of THAT. I may never be naked in front of a man again and I decided this THING was worthy of a name. Herman the Hernia. I’ve asked my best friend to make sure a belly hole was cut out in the top of my coffin (when the time came, no rush) so we’d both fit, me and Herman. I’ve also asked her to include him in my eulogy. I’d offer up some kind of funny photo here but when I Googled possibilities I was met with grossness that needn’t be shared with you all. We’ll skip the photo-op.

Really just super tired this morning after doing stuff over the weekend. The situation I deal with is after having a day full of doing stuff, my next day – physically – could go either way. Either I hurt like hell or I don’t and either I’m exhausted or I’m not. It’s a crap shoot really. Had two pretty decent days over the weekend so today I guess I’m crapped. Or maybe I’m not. Maybe it’s just my new hatred of Monday. Hard to know.

But I”m smiling and I’m happy and I hope you guys are too.

Gettin' All Bloggy Up in Here...

New to Blogger and old to Wordpress. I think I may be going through some kind of transition process. Haven't yet decided if I'll be dumping one for the other or keeping both. Here's why I feel the need to be everywhere - because I'm starting to write my first mystery series and the need to reach out is overwhelming. It isn't that I even believe I'm great at it or will make a dime. It's just my needy writerself needing to be surrounded by other writerselves.

Anyway...sharing an old blog from WP and yea, I know it's Saturday.

Thank God it’s Friday…T.G.I.F. I see it everywhere today on Facebook and it means nothing to me whatsoever. All of my days tend to run together in a blur so Friday is really just a day like any other. Which is okay. I’m happy for any day I wake up breathing. It’s all good.

Not too long ago, I posted on FB a couple of things that annoy me. One being when people reply with just “k.” What in the hell kind of response is that? What am I to take from it? K as in Special K – you missed breakfast this morning? K as in OK – you’re telling me you’re okay? K as in OK Corral – you’re a history buff and want to share your knowledge with me? I don’t get it. It’s rude and yes, extremely annoying.

The other thing I mentioned on FB and in a blog was cell phones. I hate them. They annoy me. I hate to hear them ring and I can’t stand talking on the phone.

I have a friend who has made an effort of working “k” into almost every comment she makes on my FB wall and I must admit, I laugh out loud every single time she does it. She’s taken something that annoys me and made it funny and for that, I love her. Last night she and I had an exchange on FB that went like this:

MY STATUS: If my cell phone rings one more time and it’s not who I want it to be, I’m smashing it w/ a hammer.

BOO-BOO (This is my nickname for her): Ring ring…… K

ME: You are the ONLY person on this planet that can get away with that! lol!

BOO-BOO: Gotta keep you on your toes with a smile on your face! lol you’ll never admit another thing that annoys you to me….. lmbo!

ME: Not entirely true. I might tell you other things that annoy me just b/c you make me laugh at them. However, the list is quite long so it’ll keep YOU on YOUR toes!

BOO-BOO: One of my biggest pet peeves is people leaving shopping carts in the parking lot near cars. My oldest son’s previous girl friend always said she was going to wait for me to go inside Publix then surround my car with carts. Well, last week my car was surrounded but she was nowhere around…. It was funny until I realized it wasn’t her! I posted a pic of it…. lol

Here is the result of that shopping cart incident. Yes, I LAUGHED!

A few minutes after that exchange, she posted this on my wall: Compiling a list of “Things that annoy Lisa” What ya got?…… Ready, set go!

So, at her request, I will list a few more things that annoy me:

1. Hair left on the soap. Explain this to me because it is so beyond disgusting I can’t get my head around why people do this.

2. Noise when I’m sleeping. I detest people waking me up but when they do it with annoying noise, it makes me want to go all Hannibal Lecter on their ass.

3. Chip bags that get wadded up. Let’s be orderly, shall we? Fold down the top neatly, secure it with a clip.

4. Cat hair on my towels. We have 10 cats and I go to unbelievable extremes to make sure no cat hair gets on my towels. Seriously…hate drying off and walking out of the bathroom covered in enough fur to make another damn cat.

5. People who play out family drama on Facebook. SHUT UP. We all get pissed and we all have probably written a status to say how pissed we are, but to have an entire Hatfield/McCoy scenario played out for the world to see? Truly, we can all do without the drama.

6. Smacking. It’s simple. Close your mouth when you eat.

7. Hearing paper rattle. Ok, even I have to admit this is a bizarre thing but it truly grates on my nerves. Some people get freaked out with fingernails on a chalkboard, I get freaked out hearing paper rattle.

8. People or a person standing over me. For the love of all that is holy, find a chair and sit in it! Don’t hover!

9. Those ridiculous to get into without a jack hammer + a saw + ten other power tools + dynamite plastic covers that electronics or other items come in. Really? Is that necessary?

10. Wadded up blankets. This is perfectly acceptable when you’re sleeping alone. Wad away! But when you are sharing a bed with someone, it is impossible to get adequate blanket coverage when the other person insists on wadding up the bedding.

Before you all begin to think I’m completely insane (or is it too late?) I’ll stop for now. This is only a partial list but it’s enough.

Have a great weekend friends!

FYI - It's NOT Saturday! I'll Be Rambling...

Somewhere I lost a day. Hate it when that happens. I’ve spent the last couple of days in a semi-funk and guess I lost one. Woke up thinking it was Saturday. It isn’t.

Proud of myself though. Yesterday, at some point, I became overwhelmed with the need to eat cake. Lots and lots of cake. Possibly birthday cake. Or maybe something that would force others to have “Death by Chocolate” engraved on my tombstone. I ALMOST went to the store and caved in, but I didn’t. Took a few deep breaths, came to my senses and stuck with my fat-free graham crackers and low-fat peanut butter. Whew! Dodged a bullet there because I would’ve regretted the hell out of that. I’m TRYING to eat a little healthier, lay off the sodas, drink more water, etc. I’m not making any radical lifestyle changes but just from not drinking so much soda I feel a little better. Coke – of the cola kind – is my downfall. Hard to get away from the stuff. However, I’m going to keep on keeping on. Drinking one every now and again isn’t so bad. Drinking 3 or 4 a day IS bad.

I’ve decided to treat this writing thing as a job since I don’t have a real one right now. I’ll set my hours, work during those hours and hopefully this will clear my brain enough that I can sleep better at night.

A few years ago, I had a hernia as a result of weakened muscles in my abdomen after a gall bladder surgery. Either this old hernia has re-popped out or whatever the hell it is they do or I’ve got a new one. QUITE uncomfortable. No insurance. Learning to live with it. Totally blows.

Recently, I’ve had some trouble communicating with Bret. Actually it’s not a recent thing. He’s done this whole ignoring me thing since the beginning. I’ll say something and he’s totally ignores it, doesn’t acknowledge what I’ve said and starts to talk about something else. The other day he asked me how my day was. Before I could finish, he over-talked me and changed subjects. I’m trying to explain about the hernia/pain thing – again ignored. I sent him a message on Facebook about how it made me feel when he ignored me. He ignored the message except to say to call him because he doesn’t have time to respond to my message. Doesn’t have time? Can’t make time? Hmmmm. Isn’t that kind of the same thing as being told “you aren’t worth my time?” I sent the written message to try to get my point across because he doesn’t listen to me on the phone. Am I being selfish? I kind of don’t think so. Nobody likes to be ignored and made to feel like they aren’t worthy of being listened to. He does this. He does this often. I like him. I like him a lot but jeez…how does one communicate with someone like that? I’m clueless. It’s not as if I have these mind-blowing, profound things to say. I’m not schooled in politics like he is and I’m not all witty and clever but c’mon! If you’re going to ask how someone’s day went at least be willing to let a person finish a sentence! He tells me he has poor social skills and I understand that. He spends most of his time in a truck, driving, alone. My problem with that is poor social skills can’t always be used as an excuse to be rude and that’s how this whole thing comes off. Just plain rude. At least with Franky, I know what the hell to expect. Drunk = mean. Sober = love. The end. No guessing there! Of course, I guess there’s no guessing with Bret either. If I’m speaking that = ignored. The end.

Lisa’s Book Bag is coming along. I actually had someone send me a message about 3 days after I started the book page. He told me he’d like it but it seemed dead to him and oh well, sorry. He would if he could. I had to laugh out loud! It was new – only 3 days old! Give it time, man. Give it time. It truly doesn’t matter to me if he does or not. I’d rather have a handful of friends who actually enjoy reading to like it than a bunch of people who don’t love reading to be part of something that doesn’t interest them. The folks who’ve taken the time to visit the page are real friends. That’s what matters most to me.

Wishing you guys a wonderful, happy Friday!

New to Blogger!

Starting new here on Blogger! I've got an existing blog on Wordpress, which I love, but there are so many cool people here that I decide to run a blog on both sites. This probably makes me all kinds of greedy. If it does, I apologize. Not my intent at all! At some point, I'll take on the task of bringing past blogs from WP to here. There are over a 100 so it will take some time. Until then... Here is a link to Road to Nowhere on Wordpress and here is a link to my book page, Lisa's Book Bag on Facebook. Looking forward to getting to making new friends here!